I cannot get my head around it, I cannot get my head around how fast the time is going. It feels like only yesterday you were in my stomach. This tiny innocent baby unknowing of life outside the womb. Well Lucas you're nearly three years earth side and I'm thankful that even though there is horrific things happening all over the world and horrible, wicked people on this planet that you're still innocent and oblivious to it all. 

Three years ago I was heavily pregnant, unknowing myself of what was to come. What was it going to be like being a Mum, Mama, Mother, Mummy? I have discovered I'm more of a 'Mombie' nowadays though. 


I feel like May has been a write-off; in more ways than one. I have struggled to find the words to say, I don't know what to write about. You wouldn't believe the amount of times I have got half way through a blog post and held the delete button as what I'm typing is utter bullshit and it's not worthy of being published. I don't know what's happened but I truly hate it.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, My blog is my baby and I adore it. Capturing photos of the kids and documenting their memories and moments; The ordinary moments. If this is the case then why do I suffer with writers block so frequently? 


We're in a world surrounded by people who like to complain. I mean we're all guilty of complaining its a "British" thing to do. Social media is one of those places where moaning, moaning about social media, moaning about things we do and even screenshotting or sneakily taking pictures or videos of others and posting them online (That's a different post in itself).

One thing I find dotted around the internet is "I'm sick of seeing pictures of your kids" or "I'm deleting Betty as all she does is post pictures of her kid". I have also seen MEMEs of sloth from the goonies with the caption 'When you post pictures of your kid, this is what I see'. I mean its cruel in itself but mocking a kid for its appearance is a little low.


So here I am. It's creeping up to that dreaded last month of paid maternity leave and the decision of do I return to work or can we continue to live on Brad's wages and my freelance income?
I've always wanted to be a work-from-home Mum. I am sure a lot of Stay-at-home and working Mums feel the same too. I mean being at home with your kids all day, no childcare costs, lots of snuggles and get paid for it. It's totally not that easy though - don't be fooled.

For me being a work-from-home Mum isn't about snuggling my kids and getting paid for it. I do snuggle my kids and get paid for it but that's because I snuggle them whilst typing away on a laptop. I don't get much sleep. I was up to 4:30am the other day working. I work full time hours for part time wages. Why do I do it? Simple - I love it.


Here I am, writing a post about my daughter being SIX MONTHS OLD. Am i mad? Yes I am - furious infact. Time is speeding by and I can't seem to keep up. I'm due back to work in a month and a half and I can't deal with it all. My head is all over the place and I don't know what to think.
How was it that six months ago I was in labour and about to meet the little girl I'd felt like I'd been pregnant with forever. I felt excited, scared and pain; a lot of pain.

So this is verging on a week late as I have been so busy with work, work, work, work and more work at the moment. I have lots of photography jobs, lots of social media posts to schedule, lots of writing to do, lots of editing and even a wedding video to film tomorrow, so my blog has taken a back seat. I am currently taking a break from vlogging and not sure if i'll ever return properly to it. The channel Mum thing knocked me back and made me think about my future in vlogging and in all honesty I'm not sure whether it is for me anymore. I am focusing a lot on the children, my family and the things that bring in an income. If I focus on that then returning to work may never have to happen. I may be able to fully invest into being a work from home Mama and my littles can have their Mum around a lot more.


Dear little Lucas,

It's been a while since I wrote a letter to you. You're nearly three now and it's making me feel really emotional. I love watching you grow up, you're constantly learning new things and I love the fact I can have a conversation with you and you understand what I'm saying and I can understand what you're saying.
You ask questions randomly like "Are you okay?" and it's the sweetest thing.