4 March 2017


Dear the photographer who said "A surgery isn't birth my dear"

I am not sure why you felt the need to drag another Mother down? I'm not sure where you got off really. This post has been floating round the internet, and if you'd have said to me what you had said to this mother-to-be, you most certainly wouldn't be having your identity sheltered.
As a photographer, and Mother myself, I am appalled with your behaviour. I am a Mum to Two. Lucas was born via Caesarian, my waters broke at 36 weeks and he was breech. What would you suggest I'd have done in that circumstance?

There's a stigma surrounding C-sections of "too posh to push." I am not entirely sure there are many out there who would want to undergo surgery, have a scar across their stomach, have their baby ripped out of their womb, be stitched up, miss holding their child first, endure awful pain from the moment the spinal wears off and struggle to do anything for their child for the first few days and then have restriction for a few more weeks. I mean, it sounds easy doesn't it. 

Labour is painful either way, but my recovery after my vaginal birth with Iris was a lot less of a struggle. The pain I felt throughout contractions and pushing were awful. I had gas and air and luckily for me active labour was only 35 minutes, but I found it magical. I do it again easily - you really do forget the pain afterwards.

Iris was handed straight to me, she was placed on my chest while I delivered the placenta myself. I got to cuddle her, fresh out of the womb. I got to breastfeed her immediately, I got to be the first one she ever laid eyes on. Apart from a midwife pulling her up to me, I was basically the first one to touch her delicately soft skin. Brad got to cut her cord. I then had the chance to get up and walk around the bed, I got her dressed for the first time, I got to use my legs immediately after birth. I was in agony still, I had a 3 stitches and a few grazes, I was uncomfortable but I was strapped to a bed with no feeling in my legs.

With Lucas, I had a needle pushed into my back, was made to lie practically naked in a cold room, was sick because of the drugs dropping my blood pressure, I was sliced open, Lucas pulled from my stomach, a stranger cut his cord, he was taken to a table to be rubbed to help him breath from the shock of the section, he was then handed to Brad, I didn't get to hold him for over an hour.
I still gave birth. It wasn't what I had planned but my baby boy was born that day.
You stated that it was cutting corners, but in my eyes the only cutting that was done, was across my stomach to get my little boy out the safest way possible.
Finally you mentioned that "this Motherhood job is hard," the one thing you actually made sense of, and actually this Motherhood job is even harder when there are people like you bringing others down and making them feel inadequate. 
Two of these pictures are from my C-section, Two are from my VBAC. If you didn't know which child was which, would you truthfully be able to tell which one was which?
If you carry a baby in your tummy, for no matter how long, and have a vaginal birth or a C-section birth, you're giving birth. If you are raising a child, be it from birth, adoption or surrogacy, you're a parent. 

So my message to you, as both a photographer and a Mother is to possibly find a new job, or to re-evaluate your recent remarks and get educated.