15 June 2021



We're in the third trimester, we're in the last 10 weeks and I'm officially 31 weeks tomorrow... so if we go buy previous births, he could be in our arms in 8 weeks... SEVEN FREAKING WEEKS. I weighed myself yesterday and I've only gained 12lbs so far, which is mostly going to be baby, water retention, extra blood, placenta, amniotic fluid, etc... lets not mention the extra swelling from this hideous heat and my boobs are already leaking milk... so that has to be playing a part too haha. I don't like to dwell on weight gain in pregnancy as I don't think it's healthy to rely on this outdated BMI crap but it has helped massively with making me feel less shitty about my weight. I recently had a bitch on instagram stories about the unflattering, shapeless dresses on New Look and ASOS... I then realised that actually I also am playing a part in that as I kept buying my pre-pregnancy size, which was a squeeze on me too, well, as much as the scales have gone up, I have also noticed that I have lost a substantial amount of weight over the pregnancy on my arms, legs, face, etc... as I am wearing an entire dress size smaller and that's in some stretchier non maternity sizes too! So, I'm just hoping this helps with my confidence and weight loss after he's born too. Anyway, I don't think it's necessary to mention specific numbers on scales or clothes sizes as it's not important and I won't go on too much during this post because it's not a big deal providing you're healthy and happy. I do feel I'm just bump and to many i'm sure they think I'm a "bigger girl" but I wasn't a size 8 when I got pregnant and will probably never see that size in my wardrobe ever again and I'm not really fussed, I'm in an "average" size clothing and I don't have any weight induced health problems, I have health issues cause I'm being investigated for an immunocompromised disease but can't get those tests done whilst pregnant so that's something else entirely, does the BMI calculator say I'm obese? hell yeah, is the BMI calculator a pile of shit, based around white, middle aged men? YEP! I genuinely believe that if I took my boobs off, I'd drop 2stone instantly. THOSE BABIES ARE BIG AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. haha. Anyway, moving on, all I can say is ignore the BMI calculator, eat veg, fruit, chocolate and nuggets cause life is all about balance and don't dwell on clothes sizes and weight. (also clothes sizes differ in every shop, I may wear a size X in ASOS clothing but if I went to primark, H&M &  Zara (all renowned for being particularly small) then I'd probably wear a size X. So just wear what you feel fantastic in my darlings cause aint no decent person checking your clothes tags for sizes. I have been paying a lot of attention to Carys Whittaker on insta recently and her body positive vibes post baby Amber and she is helping me get some confidence back (P.S I love being pregnant and have always love my pregnant body)

The past few weeks have been mayhem and I haven't managed to update on the ol' bump at all! When I hit 28 weeks pregnant, I instantly got hit with sickness again, it was hideous and I couldn't stop feeling sick all the time, I have also fainted quite a lot yet bloods are normal and although blood pressure is in the normal range, it is on the lower range of normal sitting at 110/65 so I am sure its to do with that as it is usually if I'm rushing or running around the house frantically doing something, bending over or stand up too quickly. I had the same with Rufus, I remember actually fainting at work one day and waking up to one of the nurses at work taking my blood pressure, obs, etc... it was all quite dramatic. 

Come 29 weeks, I started feeling poorly, the boys both had snotty noses and we put it down to hay fever as both boys suffer and that was half term week and the week our British summer officially started (FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME IT IS NOT A HEAT WAVE, IT'S SUMMER) haha. Anyway, Lucas turned 7 on the Thursday and I started feeling so rough. I ended up sleeping in between visitors because I felt so unwell. Friday day I felt rough but managed to soldier on but by Saturday I hit a brick wall and felt awful, I cancelled seeing my Mum as I had a fever, headache, cough, sore throat, the works, I requested a PCR test from the gov as had classic covid symptoms. I noticed by 6pm, I'd felt Caspar move but his very usual pattern of dancing like a crazy baby just wasn't happening, so I called the maternity unit and was told to go in straight away. I warned the taxi driver so he could clean his touch points, etc... the downside to not being a household that can drive is relying on public transport. When I arrived at the hospital they met me outside, PPE'd me up and asked me to touch nothing on my way through to an isolated room with an en suite. They were amazing. His movements of course picked up the moment I was hooked up to the machine and she covid swabbed me there and then to speed up the PCR process. I was home within an hour and they blocked off the room I was in as soon as I walked out and it was deep cleaned too, they were amazing with the small chance I did have covid to protect themselves and other pregnant, labouring & new mums on the labour ward. 

Sunday I was even worse and I couldn't catch my breath, breathing was something I had to think about and it was a difficult task. I was coughing like mad and it sounded like a bark and I was bed bound completely. We were told to isolate until my covid results came back which, except the two taxi journeys to the hospital the night before which both drivers were made aware because it's only fair and they were absolutely fine with taking me because they knew why it was important for me to go, we had been anyway. Brad had to take the night off work because of course protecting the vulnerable people in his work place will always come first. That night I progressively got worse and 111 sent me to a&e... I had by far the most hideous experience ever in a&e, which I won't go into here because it's not relevant but I have reported my concerns to cqc and pals. Anyway, my covid swab did come back as negative and they did a blood prick (like a glucose test for diabetes) and that confirmed I didn't have covid. So no idea why I was so poorly. Monday I spent in bed, Tuesday I spent in bed and Wednesday was the first day I managed to feel a little more human! But my gosh, if that wasn't covid, I fear it even more because I have never had it that my inhaler didn't work and the not being able to breath is scary, I've only ever felt similar to that in a panic attack but this was so different. Anyway, i'm better now so that's good. Then Thursday Lucas got a sickness bug so we spent 48 hours chasing him around the house with anti bacteria spray to make sure no one else got it! Which thankfully no one did as I was worried I'd pick it up and end up with a sickness bug in 28 degree heat over the weekend. No one wants that at the best of times, let alone when heavily pregnant. 
Things are looking up, I am still finding myself laying on the floor whilst dizzy & nearly passing out but hey, I can breathe again so swings and roundabouts. Caspar is looking and moving all good still, so that's all that matters isn't it.

Sunday evening we decided as it was getting hotter, looking like we were gonna have a very stormy, rainy week and i'm getting bigger and bigger, more uncomfortable and finding I'm getting cramping and tightenings if I do too much walking too, so I think it may be a good to slow down because I'd like him to stay put for another 6 weeks would be fantastic, thanks.

BABY IS THE SIZE OF: Platypus or summer cantaloupe
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO: Packing our hospital bags, we still haven't decided on a home birth, birthing centre in the new forest or birthing centre in the princess Anne, but we'll need hospital bags for a back up for sure.
MY FAVOURITE MOMENT WAS: When Caspar kicked Rufus in the head yesterday, he had never felt it before and he was cuddling me with his head on my bump and I felt Caspar do a massive move and Rufus went "WHATS THAT?" and I said it was Caspar moving and kicking and he went "NAUGHTY BABY BASPAR" and it completely melted my god damn heart.
I HAVE BEEN FEELING: Worried, cases are rising (slowly but rising) and after being that poorly at the weekend, I am still apprehensive BUT excited about enjoying the next 7-10 weeks.
I HAVE BEEN BUYING FOR BABY: Baby bottles, two newborn size MAM bottles for the feeding and pumping caddy! May need another nappy caddy for oat based snacks like flapjacks and hob nobs! may be a myth, may not be but I sure did eat a lot of oats with Iris and it was the successful breastfeeding journey.
IM CRAVING: I feel the need to chew a flannel... with ice cold water. SO ODD.
IM LOVING: Being in the shade, watching my tiny humans play and enjoy the sunshine, before coming in for cuddles.
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO: Do nothing, i'm working with a friend which is providing me with the good amount of brain usage and keeping occupied and feeling like I have something for me but also it involves sitting on my butt and relaxing whilst typing away on my laptop, so I'm safe, secure and settled. Lush. 

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