RUFUS LENNON IS ONE

HOW? How am I possibly typing up a blog post wishing my baby a happy first birthday? My last baby? This is the first time I've felt this emotional over a birthday but it's all feeling so final now! This really is the first chapter of being a Mum finally closing, I'll never do this again, never have another first birthday with one of my own children, the next will be nieces or nephews or grand children and that is unreal.
Well, Rufus Lennon, you're one years old and this is potentially the first letter I've ever written you on my blog and if it is I'm sorry.

So,  Dear little Rufus,

Here we go...

One year ago you came into this world, you came into it crying and didn't stop for seven months and truthfully, it was super hard work. I thought at one point we'd collapse as a family but it wasn't your fault and never will be. You were having just as much as a rough time as we were and honestly? I feel so sad that I don't feel I appreciated your precious first year and my precious last, first year and that's because doctors, consultant, hospital appointments, the works were just constant and it took away a lot of the joy as we were just so worried about you and we loved you so, so much and love you so, so much that we wanted everything to just be better for you!

From day one you were clearly in distress, you were losing weight, staying static, losing weight, staying static, I just wanting you to be okay, I wanted you to gain weight, be "normal" and stop the prodding and poking and just be mine.
Finally, we had our answers, reflux and a dairy and soya allergy! We have beaten off reflux now and you're no longer on the horrible medicine and we are pretty good with knowing what you can and can't eat so that's a positive and FINALLY, we have our baby, the happy, darling boy.
Except, really you're a blooming toddler aren't you really, you're now one years old and you've been toddling and walking for just over a month and a half! You took your first steps at ten months old and officially cracked it at ten and a half and now you speed around bloody everywhere causing disruption wherever you go!

Now, about you, you're so blooming special and wonderful Roo, I literally adore you! You are so blooming cheeky it's unreal. You have smashed one of my copper pumpkins and a Christmas candle within a month or so of each other and you're just like a bulldozer and whenever I say no, the attitude on you is just hilarious. The attitude is definitely from your older Sister, you answer back and grunt at us and it's so funny! We'll say no Roo Roo and you'll angrily grunt at us and then do it anyway, whilst looking at us and it's a complete "F*** you" attitude and I secretly love it because it gives you a unique little personality.

You're finding new loves and you love colourful things and music! Thomas the tank engine interests you, so it's good we have a box of trains and cars. You are obsessed with cars and trains but as Lucas has so many, you don't really need any of your own as Lucas has kinda outgrown them now so we're moving on from the box of pointless baby toys, you've basically never touched to Lucas' trains and cars which are basically your trains and cars now.

Anyway, this year has been challenging but it's been wonderful because I've got to watch you grow, I've got to snuggle you and learn who you are as you currently are.
I'm so glad you're mine, I'm so glad you're ours, I am so glad you're a baby Brother to Lucas and Iris and we love you so much.
The politest baby I know, the one who says TA on que without being prompted a lot of the time, the one with the cheekiest grin, the one with the loveliest cuddles and the one I am proud to say is our last piece of the puzzle and final adventurer to the family.

Here's to another year and let's hope next year you'll be eating chocolate and yogurts with your siblings too.

We love you so much Rufus Lennon
Happy first Birthday baby boy