31 December 2015


So it seems like odd number years are our unlucky years. Never entirely but the majority of the years are unlucky. 2012 was the first year we spent together and it was perfect, magical and one of the happiest years of my life.

The past years

In 2012, Brad and I moved into our own home, our first home together, we had a wonderful year, I received £4500 compensation, we were very happy.

In 2013, we lost Brad's nan, very suddenly and very unexpected, this was extremely difficult for everyone. We also then struggled for money, I suffered terribly with my mental health, I was told how hard it would be to conceive a child, but the last 3 months got better due to finding out we were in-fact carrying a little tiny Lucas.

In 2014, we gave birth to the perfect little monkey, we lost my grandpa that year, but although it was sad for us, we knew he'd had enough so were glad he could finally be at peace at 101 years old.

In 2015, we struggled to find who we all were, we struggled for money again over the past few months after complications with my job, we had lost a couple of friends, lost a pregnancy, we've both struggled with our mental health, but once again the past couple of months at the end have shown that we're stronger than we think, Brad and I are solid, we stick together through thick n' thin. I got a new job and am finding my confidence again, i'm losing weight, my anxiety is settling. Everything that made the beginning 10/11 months terrible, we finally going away, everything was settling and I had found myself again, Brad had found himself again and we are now extremely content.

For some reason the majority of the odd number years, seem to give us a huge wad of bad luck, then the even numbers seem to give us better luck.
I'm hoping that 2016 can be OUR year again.

Our plans and dreams for 2016

1. Get pregnant. We'd adore another baby, and hopefully this year we find ourselves pregnant with baby number 2!

2. Lose weight, this may sound crazy with our plans above, but when I was pregnant with Lucas, i put on 4/5 stone! honestly, I went from 10 stone to 14/15 stone, I can't entirely remember, but I was unhealthy and put on weight EVERYWHERE, and not just a little, a lot. I was so unhappy with my weight and have battling between wanting to lose weight and wanting to eat what I want. Considering back before pregnancy, I could eat what I wanted and barely put on much weight. I think losing weight, healthily, will boost my chances of conceiving and staying pregnant. I also want to try to only gain bump weight the next time too, and eat healthily throughout the next pregnancy also. I ate nothing but fatty foods, cake and sugary snacks last time and I want something totally different this time.

3. Focus more on my blog and youtube channel, I have found that because I was shooting with my macbook webcam, my phone or my vlogging camera, my quality was rubbish and I hated filming main channel videos, but... for christmas I got a beautiful Canon SLR camera and now i'm extremely excited to film my first decent quality main channel vlog, later today! My plan is then to upload once a week and to try and build up my subscribers. I also want to upload more regular blog posts and to continue daily vlogging, as we LOVE doing that too.

4. Be a little more "selfish," I don't mean, i'm about to become a huge asshole. I literally mean to focus on myself a little more, and my family a little more. I am a bit of a people pleaser, in the sense of I hate people disliking me. I like to have lots of friends and I like to get on with everyone. I aways fear, sitting in a room of people and them all hating me. This year, i'm going to attempt to continue that but focus on showing everyone the real me, I have/had a lot more real friends when I was the real me, and I lost myself at the beginning of 2015 and the "real me" came back again around September this year, so now my focus is to continue that and remember more people like you when you're yourself.

5. Work hard, play hard, I find myself working lots of hours, long hours and although i love being there, I forget the reason I am there making money. We can live off of Brad's wages soley, we figured that out the month between job changes, but we lost out on a lot of luxuries and couldn't afford to live comfortably or with nice things, I even thought about racking up debt with store cards, so we could continue having nice things, and honestly, I've done that in the past (with an ex) and it's not worth it. You forget you have to pay it all back, it's not free things. So this year, I'm going to work hard, so we can have nice things, go on nice days out and play hard! More money, means more nice things.

6. Kick anxieties BUTT, I have been a little bit silly recently and have been putting off trips to visit our wonderful friend Jodie, for a while due to worrying about the terrorist attacks, and now we have a couple of really great plans coming up and an event and I shouldn't be worried about going because of an attack, this is an anxiety issue and with my plans to kick anxiety butt in place. I sometimes hear shouting at work and panic, it's silly little things and things that need to be knocked on the head, before I become a hermit. Anxiety isn't something that is going to disappear from my life forever, but it's something that we can curb a little this year, I am sure.

7. Get rid of the bottle, No, not the alcohol bottle, Lucas' bottle, he still has a bottle of milk before bed, and I think he's at an age now where we could be swapping it for a beaker (by the end of January MAX) and then getting rid of the bedtime drink completely by the end of June. 

8. Potty Training, We're going forward in the year a bit now, but Lucas is 2 in June, I know, how the hell did that happen so quick? Anyway, by his 2nd birthday, we will be looking into sticker charts, rewards and potty's and then goodbye nappies. Hopefully by the time we have another baby, Lucas can be fully out of nappies and dry.

9. Do the garden up, Our house is rented, but we sort of have free range to an extent on what we can and can't do, our plan is to do the garden up a little, nothing major and nothing that costs money, just focus on tidying it up a little and cutting down some trees (little trees) and bushes!

and finally

10. Turn Lucas' bedroom into a big boy bedroom, We have planned to completely turn Lucas' room into a "big boy bedroom" by his 2nd birthday, we've started buying things already in preparation. Lucas is going to be having a "Biddey" bedroom. He was bought so much Mickey mouse stuff for christmas, we decided that because he has such a huge love for Mickey mouse, we'd do it up for him. Be prepared, it's not going to be tacky, we've got some major plans.

So, Have an amazing evening, i'm sure most of you will be in your pyjamas, watching the countdown on TV, like ourselves, but whatever you're doing have fun.
We will be reflecting on the fact that although we've had some terrible things happen this year, we have 366 (leap year) days next year to make a change, to make them count and to remain positive and happy. 

See you next year!
lots of love,