14 May 2021



Another week passed and another week closer to meeting our darling baby boy! He's growing rapidly, kicking me like crazy, doing somersaults and being such a darling little boy already and I cannot wait to meet him, although I'd love for him to stay put for another 12-13 weeks. I usually go early, but not dangerously early and would love to have him around the same gestation because it's lovely snuggling them when it's safe but a little earlier than due date. I've also never gone overdue, so who knows, could this be the first one? 

I've been doing a lot of looking into hypnobirthing again. I loved it with Rufus and it definitely helped. Just got to find a course or a YouTube course. A friend has a book for me which is exciting and I'm tempted to do an audio book instead of paying for a course as I didn't with Rufus and I still managed to do really well with it. Hypnobirthing is by far the best way to birth in my eyes, it works for me but of course won't work for everyone as birth is different and I love a hypnobirth and waterbirth. It's absolutely perfect for me. I wouldn't want a different birth but of course know that things change, Lucas was a C-section and I certainly don't feel less worthy for it. 

I have also done his little section in the boys bedroom which is super cute. They have an adventure/safari/animal theme and I just love how cute it looks. Especially his wall stickers and octopus wall hanging. His sleepyhead is adorable and the Morris and Co. Print is darling and I love it so much. I am excited to get things more prepped. I am keeping the sleepyhead in the plastic packaging until 36ish weeks. I can't wait to see that little baby boy using these things.

Pandemic pregnancies are by far the scariest thing I have done medically. Just like you all we all expected this to have gone a little more quieter but listening to bumbling Boris, saying about this new variant is rising (although we must focus on the very low number of deaths and infection rates are also low) and the transmission rate is a lot easier to spread AGAIN. which obviously for little unvaccinated preggo here, is a little scary. I've mentioned this numerous times so don't need to go into it again but I am being super careful and so is Brad but it doesn't take away the risk of Brad getting it at work or from the local supermarket or shop, IF the new variant seems to spread super quickly. I am continuing to be super careful and will stay home unless its for a walk or an essential trip. Such a worry really. 

I never expected to have to worry, I knew it wasn't going away, I know its likely never going to go away, it'll be like the flu but I didn't expect to have to deal with a second variant, my husband testing positive, a third lockdown and now a potential third variant. So, all I can say to repeat myself is if I'm not meeting up with you or mixing the little people, then it's purely because I'm just too nervous and worried about getting covid. Especially as I'm less than 2 weeks away from being 28 weeks and step into a higher risk category than I am now. Hence why my job has sent me off. 

I've seen my mental health worker this week for the first time since the crisis team last year. I ended up having a little breakdown about my pandemic pregnancy worries, my worries of upsetting friends and family for not following the road map and lagging behind it, worrying about upsetting people because we have some slightly "annoying" requests before visiting, but I just fully believe better safe than sorry and the fact this third variant is spreading between young and unvaccinated people, speaks volumes and just helps us realise we're making the best decision for me and baby boy. She's given me some grounding techniques and some mindfulness, which I don't know if I completely find they work but I'm willing to give it a go if it means that I may not spend an evening panicking and feeling like I have a pit of worry in my chest and tummy. We're all in different cars on this road map and some are in riskier cars than others, some feel worried about going in one direction and some are breezing down the highway with their roof down. No one is wrong and no one should be made to feel bad for taking it a little slower.

Anyway, I've noticed my tummy button is dipping in, like it wants to pop out but it's dipping prior to it. Which you can see on the picture below, how bizarre it looks, it actually isn't that obvious in the flesh, but it is a little strange. Haha. Thanks Baby Boy! 

I headed to Primark for a few cheap things for my hospital bag, some 90p flip flops, a nightie, etc... I will do a post on this. I am still torn between a home birth and a hospital birth in a birthing centre but always need a hospital bag as a just in case and also 

BABY IS THE SIZE OF: Butternut squash or a slow loris
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO: Baby boy arriving now, although please stay put 
MY FAVOURITE MOMENT WAS: Capturing his wiggles on camera
I HAVE BEEN FEELING: After tonights press conference, absolutely petrified truthfully.
I HAVE BEEN BUYING FOR BABY: Muslins and a nappy caddy, some moccasins
IM CRAVING: Not a proper craving but if I see something I need to have that. Really need to have a grapefruit.
IM LOVING: The comfort of closing my door on the world. It feels like when I close that front door, I feel protected.
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO: buy baby bottles and milk storage bags. Desperate for a smooth breastfeeding journey

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