3 September 2018


Birth is either one of those things you look forward to or dread and for me this time it's something I am excited about! I am a bit of a weirdo in that sense, I just find birth so amazing and yeah, of course, it hurts but I just love it. I am so excited about birth this time after Iris' and I just hope baby is behaving and is head down and ready to go when the time comes in December.
I keep thinking about hypno-birthing again as I really liked how it made me feel during labour with Iris. Sadly, during my labour with Iris as I was high risk because of my previous C-Section and uterus shape they kept interrupting me to talk to me and it was so frustrating at the time as I was already made to stay on the bed to monitor her heartbeat and they'd refused a water birth due to her safety incase my uterus ruptured. I was so desperate to have this hypno-birthing style birth but I gave up in the end because I just couldn't concentrate which was so incredibly upsetting for me but Iris came quickly and safely so that is all that really matters.

This time round when I think about how I want birth and then when I say it out loud, family think I am mad but I want to be home when I give birth, I don't want to be at the hospital and if I go as quick as I did with Iris when thinks kicked off properly then I think i'm likely to have an unplanned home birth anyway. I just want to be home, most likely with a pool and listen to music.
My plan is to buy this pool that is raved about by women who have had home births but couldn't afford or didn't want to spend £120 on hiring one or buying one. The birth pool/paddling pool i've seen is £20 and i've been researching a lot and i'll give it a good clean prior to the birth and well I wont be the first woman to have had a successful (hopefully) home birth in this style pool instead of an "official" birthing pool and wont be the last.

I keep imaging myself in a birth pool or even not in a birth pool, with our christmas tree lights flickering and PROPER candles burning with the christmassy scents circling the house and my choice of music on the TV through the fire stick or if I do fancy it a hypno-birthing video from youtube on. I have been listening to hypno-birthing bits and bobs anyway and will continue to do so until I give birth.

When I think about music choices I think of anything really, I love music and it cheers me up, puts me in a good mood and is also a great distraction technique too. I will 100% be playing Michael Buble's christmas album and likely other christmas songs but then at the same time I love You Me At Six, Panic! at the disco, bowling for soup and Fall out boy! I find these bands great to bounce on the birthing ball to. I also love Florence and the machine, Drake, The weeknd, bastille, Lana Del Rey, George Ezra, well basically I have a wide range of music I like and as long as I have the Alexa controller and I can just ask her to play my music then i'm sorted really.

When it comes to the littles, of course I would prefer if someone could come and take them out for the day or take them for a sleepover but at the same time if no one is about to have them and I go into labour at their bedtime then I am absolutely not going to wake them up to get someone to come and get them out of bed at 3am when we're not leaving the house anyway and i'll have someone on stand by IF something goes wrong or labour lasts longer than the time their asleep.
I know if i'm labouring at home I will be so much more worried about my neighbours, kids or street hearing me screeching that I will make myself labour quietly.
We have also learnt I make more noises in painful situations when I am scared, worried or taken by surprise situations like going from 4-10cm in 10 minutes and wondering why the pain was so bad and why no one would check your cervix to see if i've dilated or whether the pains from a rupturing uterus. It took a lot of persuasion to get the midwife to check my cervix last time because she'd only just checked and i'd hit 4cm and she never said it but I think she thought I was just over exaggerating with the 4cm pain then again I was worried and had just asked Brad to read off the epidural pain relief sheet.
This being said, of course if the pain became too bad or I did become more vocal and it woke the kids up and they got distressed I would get a relative to come and get them instantly.

When I think of my perfect birth, I think about going into labour at 8pm, just after the kids have gone to bed, it will be on a night Brad is off work so he doesn't have to leave work, i'd be in the pool by 8:30pmish, listening to Buble with headphones on because kids are asleep, the midwife would turn up with the gas and air and at some point in the middle of the night I would give birth to our new baby Son or Daughter and Brad gets the pool emptied, baby is A-Ok, as am I , midwife leaves, I go up to bed and place them in the snuzpod and get my head down for a few hours and at 6am Lucas and Iris, who haven't even been disturbed in the night, wake up and come into our room and get the meet their Brother or Sister before Lucas goes to school or even better it's a weekend!
I mean this is the dream and if this could happen it would be absolutely amazing but of course it's entirely up to baby!

I get so excited talking about birth and thinking about this baby's birth makes me super excited because we wont know who they are until birth, unlike their siblings. I can't wait to see if it pans out the way i'd like it to or not. Bring on December!

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