11 March 2017


Although I always feared about passing a condition onto Lucas, I always had more of the fear of passing a condition onto my daughter, If I ever had one.
During Lucas' scans everything seemed absolutely fine, so I wouldn't want to push for any tests, even when he gets older, but with Iris it's something completely different. Although the scans said she looked fine, there's always something that niggles me with worry, so it's something I'll probably seek advice on from a medical professional as she gets older - I just don't think the scan is enough proof for me. I don't feel they could tell enough.

 I was born internally a little odd, no one knew until I was Sixteen either.
At Sixteen a MRI scan showed that I only had one Kidney, with possible polycystic Kidney disease too. This was a worry but nothing too scary, I mean, you can live quite fine with one kidney. My only worry was if it became a poorly kidney, I'd go straight onto dialysis, either way, the risks were supposedly low.
In June 2013 I was told after a routine CT scan that it seemed that I only had one ovary too. This was scary and told my chances of conceiving would be a lot harder. This petrified me. I knew I wanted children, but the thought of it never happening was so scary.
Anyway, October 2013, after 3 months of not using protection, we found out we were expecting Lucas. I had a scan at around 4/5 weeks and it showed I had a unicornuate uterus and only one fallopian tube too.

This sort of thing could be hereditary I was told. That terrified me so much. The thought of my children being born with one kidney, and missing reproductive organs was horrible. Scans showed Lucas had two kidneys as far as they could tell. They said the same for Iris.
The chances are both of them are completely "normal" but the thought of passing on my unicornuate uterus is what worries me. I cannot imagine Iris growing up with the fears I had.

I was told it would be hard to conceive. Conceiving Lucas took 3 months, but to be told that when we were pregnant with him there were added risks.
1. Early miscarriage
2. Late miscarriage
3. Stillborns
4. Prematurity
5. Extremely early labour - leading to loss of baby
6. Breech babies
7. risk of rupture to uterus leading to death to both myself and the baby
8. Low birth weight
9. Higher risk of ectopic, leading to loss of my only fallopian tube too.

The thought of Iris facing these fears too because I've passed this on to her is one of my biggest fears.
As she gets older I'd like to get her tested, just so she can prepare for it, so she's aware, so she can know and I can support her on her journey to becoming a mother one day; if she wishes.

The guilt I'll feel if it's something I have passed on to her with never leave me. Both my Mother and Father were tested for the kidney disease and if they had two, before we knew about my uterus, and both do not have the condition, but I do.
The statistic surrounding it are so negative, and I'm so grateful I never read them whilst I was pregnant with Lucas. I am so lucky that my body grew and nurtured two lovely littles and hope that if I have passed on this condition then I hope she has healthy pregnancies and babies like I did.

It's not until you have a condition that could be passed on do you feel the guilt and worry. You want to protect them, not make them ill.