30 June 2016


Dear little Lucas,

I am sorry, i'm sorry that I am not up to scratch at the moment, I am sorry that mummy can't play as much, that she's more tired than usual and that your whole life is about to be turned upside down in a matter of months.

 Come end of September/October, you're going to learn that you're not the only "important" person in our world, and that there will in fact be two important people in our lives, and one of those will rely on us a little bit more than you. You may find that we can't focus solely on you and for that I am sorry. 
You may feel a little left out and forgotten, but I promise you, we wont love you any less, if anything we'll love you even more.
Our bubble of love is getting bigger and bigger everyday for both you and your little sister. 

I see you already rubbing my stomach unprompted just because my tummy is hanging out, now i'm getting fatter. You feel her kick your hand some days and you don't really understand it and don't really notice it, but I love the fact that to me, thats you two bonding already. When you rub my stomach I cannot contain the tears sometimes, in a lovely way, I just can't wait to see you both together.

Things are going to become more and more obvious over the next few months, More toys and clothes will start filling up around the place, more pink items, more things for mummy to say "That's not yours Lucas, please don't touch it, too," and more of mummy! In two ways, maternity leave is 8 weeks away and i'll be home more, but i'll also be a lot bigger, so will be more tired and will struggle more to get on and off the sofa, let alone the floor and leaning over the bath. I am excited for maternity leave as we can have so many cuddles together before your sister makes her grand debut.

I am sorry if you ever feel that your life has been turned upside down with having a sister, but I promise you in a years time, if not less, you'll be sharing toys, and food and playing together, she'll be chasing after you and you'll be chasing her around too. 
You'll be able to show off and show Iris how clever you are, and she'll be learning from you.

You may notice we're buying lots more things for Iris than you, but you wont remember we did the same when we were expecting you, and you will get little treats here and there too. Last week we received a parcel from John Lewis and you wanted her Jellycat bunny, but mean mummy said no, so we purchased you a different jellycat bunny, and you LOVE it, "Pepper" is your new best friend, you love cuddling it and taking it around. It's little things like this that we will do for you as we NEVER want you to feel unloved or forgotten. 

We promise that even though you may not be getting bought as many 'presents' as your sister, our love for you is the same and is still growing greater and greater everyday.
I do feel guilty that I am not as on the ball or can be the energetic mum I was before pregnancy, but once she's here and i'm healed, I will chase you round the garden again, and you can use me as a climbing frame. Until then, i'll cuddle and kiss you and continue to play together to my best ability.

You're my number one little boy, and i'll always love you more than you'll ever know or understand. You're wonderful,
I love you so much Lucas, 
you'll be the bestest big brother I have ever known.

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