17 June 2016


When I decided to become a mum, I was in a longish, happy relationship, but the first thought I had to think about was "what would Brad be like as a dad?"
Would he be hands on? Would he be distant? Would he change nappies and do the night feeds too? But the most important question was, Would I be stuck doing everything in the way of childcare?
Brad's always been very helpful around the house, doing more than his fair share of the housework, cooking and cleaning; so to me the answers to those questions were easy. I knew Brad would be a fabulous Dad.

Back in the days of 'call the midwife' the "wife" stayed at home and did all the housework, cooking cleaning and childcare. Dad's went to work, and bought home the bread, milk and money. I am so glad this isn't the case anymore and we've moved past those days. I'd love to be a stay at home mum, but don't think i'd like to be soley responsible for the upkeep of the house, the feeding of the family, the cleanliness of the my children and self and keeping, soon to be, 4 humans alive.
Mothercare did a survey and 81% of dads now say they share parenting duties equally and a further 67% said they wish they were able to do more. I would say Brad would have been in those percentages had he taken part. He does so much but always says he wishes he could be home more and do more bedtimes with Lucas. Some days he goes 3 days without seeing him, due to getting up at 5am for work, Lucas still being asleep, and getting in at 8pm and Lucas has usually been asleep for 1-2hours by that point. It's horrible for him when he's not a dad who doesn't live with us but sometimes it feels like it for him. 

Brad likes to be involved as much as possible. He adores playing with Lucas, rolling his sleeves up and getting mucky in the garden, building train tracks and models out of playdough. Brad's also the main washer uper... He's actually the only washer uper. I hate washing up and Brad happily, I say that with caution, but he does it, and never moans. He will always clean up on the days off, maybe not to my standard but it makes my days off easier for cleaning.

Brad and I also chose things for the home and the children together. Don't get me wrong, I still pop to town whilst he's at work and bring home something really silly for the house and he'll look at me and go "that's nice, dear," but when it comes to important things like shopping for the big things for the kids, we do things together. We chose the snuzpod together, and agreed on the colour together, we decided on the pram together, the buggy board, he'll pick out a dress or a shirt for the littles and i'll usually agree, this does help he has great taste. It's also not just about the man choosing to be involved with everything, it's also about the encouragement. I love the way the millennial dad is. I think it's so lovely to not feel like you're on your own and you're mum and dad. We're actually going to the mothercare expectant parent event together next Friday, as I think it's nice to include Brad in these events.

Brad's such an amazing dad, he genuinely is so loving, caring and helpful. I think if we ever broke up and I had to become a single mum, i'd be so shocked on how to do everything by myself, especially the washing up. I'm glad we're such a strong couple that does everything together and works in a union. We pull our fair share in weight with childcare. I love that on Brad's days off when we're together, I can put my feet up a little and not worry about having eyes in all angles of my body to watch Lucas. He doesn't do 'everything' as such on my days off, because i'm lazy or can't be bothered, he does it as he loves it and misses out on it when he works his 12 hour days, 14 hours if you include travel.

Brad has such a caring nature and that's why he's amazing in his job too. He loves spending his days off with Lucas, as I get to do everything for Lucas, 4 days a week minimum and from the moment he wakes up, to the moment he goes to bed. So it's nice to catch a break of that day off, especially now i'm pregnant, and suffering with SPD.

Sharing the work load with childcare and housework is so important, for a strong family bond too. It will also teach our children how they should be when they grow up. I want Lucas to grow up and think "I must help out my wife or husband with the cleaning," and if he has children "I must be hands on too" the way Brad is, and if Lucas is half the man Brad is when he's older, he's going to make his partner very happy and he's going to be a very well loved man. It works the same for Iris though, I want her to find a man or woman, like her dad, someone who cares and wants to help. I don't want her growing up with this thought of she must do everything, or she has to put up with a lazy man. If her partner is half the human Brad is, that would also make me very happy and supportive of their relationship.

Happy fathers day to all the millennial dads out there!
Especially Brad! You're the best.

*Written for Mothercare and their fathers day hands on millennial dad campaign*