25 September 2015


Dear judgemental, new mum on the bus,

You can sit there with your newborn baby, with your nice pushchair, bragging about the fact you're going to buy a new one for £600 and you don't even care. This is new to you and I can tell that, you seem very naive.

I'm trying not to judge you, and you were very young, no older than 17/18, the first thing you said on the bus was "how do all these skanks on my Facebook keep getting pregnant, they're so ugly and fat, how do they get laid?" well clearly they have a lovely personality and they're liked and loved for their personality, or even they're found highly attractive by their partners or lovers, maybe their partners or lovers arent as judgemental as you. Clearly you're the type of young mum that gives young mums a bad name. You're the reason so many young mums get criticism, when they do not deserve it and should be cut some slack. I hope you raise your child better than you were.

As for that, yes my child is having the worlds worst tantrum because he's tired, hot, bored, thirsty and a little bit hAngry. Do you not what though, I'm not going to pick him up as there's nothing I can do, my kid needs to nap and he's just doing what all toddlers do, and tantrum. 
My child has a awful temper when he's tired and picking him up on the bus 5/10 minutes before my stop isn't going to make it any better. He needs to learn.
Saying "can't she stop him," "I wouldn't let my baby cry like that," and so on.
Biting my tongue was the best option; I too sat on the bus with my newborn, wondering why the lady with the toddler wouldn't just pick her toddler up and comfort her/him, I was too naive. If only I knew then what I knew now. I for one never muttered hurtful things to my friend or under my breath.
That sort of thing knocks people's confidence. You could see I was flustered, embarrassed, helpless and not sure what to do as it was a raging tantrum and something i wanted to not give in to. He was tired, why would you make a mother feel so inadequate; with what to you must have felt like throw away comments, hit me when I was already down.

I then happened to bump into you in a shop, my child was calm, and had settled by this point. Another mum was struggling with a younger baby, the baby was crying, you then muttered under your breath "crying babies everywhere, I can't freaking stand it, I'm sick of hearing it," this is the reality of motherhood I'm afraid, they cry, it's not a walk in the park, big pretty Prams and quite shopping trips with your newborn, it's trying to find your child clothes for nursery whilst they munch a packet of pombears and touch all the clothes, it's trying to buy pants with a bored child having a meltdown. You will get to this stage one day, no child behaves immaculately forever. It may seem peachy now but I promise you, I was in your shoes once and it really does get bad sometimes.

Have a little respect, you will hopefully/probably never read this,
It's hurtful to be made to feel inadequate as a parent because your child is having a tantrum, I hope you never get made to feel like this.

Struggling mum of a toddler.