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THE FIRST TRIMESTER



So I typed this out twice now, and could possibly re-do it again in the future. The problem is, the first trimester 'weekly' updates are going to be in one massive post and i'm typing them so far in the past now, that my mood is all over the place.

Last time I wrote this out I was being a pessimistic polly and it was really negative, not negative as in "I don't wanna be pregnant, I'm gonna moan, moan, moan," negative in the sense of i'm just absolutely bloody terrified. Terrified that it's all going to go wrong again and that you may be reading this and it may be for the wrong reasons, but hopefully, fingers, toes, and eyes... (well not eyes or you'll be reading a load of poo) crossed that you've just watched and read our pregnancy announcement for our little rainbow! BABY NUMBER TWO!

As I type this intro out, i'm currently 4 weeks & 4 days pregnant, estimated, obviously that could all change. Sooo, We found out nearly a week ago now, and we found out on 19th February. I filmed us finding out and compared to last times, it was so unexcitable, but it was real, if you've watched it, then you'd have seen the pure fear of something going wrong again, but the happiness we felt. We're so happy and excited but we're cautious. We want this baby so much, and the fear of something going wrong again, has been affecting my sleep at night. Remaining calm is so difficult, but i'm trying very hard.

This is going to be a rather long post, so I would grab a cuppa!


THIS WEEK: week 4

BABY IS THE SIZE OF:  A poppy seed.
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO: Getting past 5.5/6 weeks, so I have already made it further than last time, and awaiting my letter or phone call about my early appointments.
MY FAVOURITE MOMENT WAS: Teaching Lucas to rub my belly and say "ahh babbby" instead of hitting it and saying "ow" or tickling it, which hurts anyway.
I HAVE BEEN FEELING: Really swollen and sore breasts, tiredness, anxious, cramping, backpain, a few headaches and nausea (although no actual sickness) 
I HAVE BEEN BUYING FOR BABY: I have bought nothing yet, and probably wont until we see a heartbeat and know everything is going well, I may even be good this time and wait for the second trimester.
IM CRAVING: Pastry, sausage rolls, pies, you name it, if it has pastry, I want it.
IM LOVING: Knowing I can get pregnant, and appreciating the fact I am pregnant again. Just look forward to not being so anxious this time.
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO: Talk to work, my job involves a lot of moving heavy totes and boxes around, and I get really crampy when i've done a lot, and I worry when i'm cramping, so I want to see what can be done to help me, just until i reach a safe stage.

THIS WEEK: week 5

BABY IS THE SIZE OF:  A Sesame seed.
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO: Our 6 week scan on Friday!
MY FAVOURITE MOMENT WAS: Seeing 3+ weeks pop up on a clearblue digital meaning out hcg levels are rising.
I HAVE BEEN FEELING: Really swollen and sore breasts, EXHAUSTION, sicky.
I HAVE BEEN BUYING FOR BABY: A little rainbow hat.
IM CRAVING: veg and lemon and water.
IM LOVING: Feeling pregnant! All horrid symptoms mean healthy baby.
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO: Blog and Vlog more but I suck and have lacked in filming and posts, I am just too tired.

THIS WEEK: week 6

BABY IS THE SIZE OF:  A sweet pea.
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO: My birthday!
MY FAVOURITE MOMENT WAS: A tiny little baby and a tiny little heartbeat on the screen!
I HAVE BEEN FEELING: Exhausted and really sicky
I HAVE BEEN BUYING FOR BABY: Nothing
IM CRAVING: Whatever I can eat at that moment, the sickness is awful!
IM LOVING: Knowing we have a tiny little baby in my tummy.
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO: Blog and vlog still, all I do is nap.

THIS WEEK: week 7

BABY IS THE SIZE OF:  A blueberry.
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO: Finally getting a letter about an appointment.
MY FAVOURITE MOMENT WAS: feeling sicky and horrid, i love having symptoms... weird ey?
I HAVE BEEN FEELING: sicky, tired, exhausted, anxious.
I HAVE BEEN BUYING FOR BABY: nothing. (been good)
IM CRAVING: whatever i feel like at the time.
IM LOVING: Knowing i'm pregnant.
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO: Vlog, i'm terrible.

THIS WEEK: week 8

BABY IS THE SIZE OF: A Raspberry.
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO: My first midwife appointment. I just got sent my letter.
MY FAVOURITE MOMENT WAS: Getting my letter, it made it feel more real.
I HAVE BEEN FEELING: Sick, headaches, exhausted, sore and just bleh! All good signs though.
I HAVE BEEN BUYING FOR BABY: Nothing, being good.
IM CRAVING: Whatever I fancy at that time.
IM LOVING: crisps.
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO: Vlog, it's the same every week.

THIS WEEK: week 9

BABY IS THE SIZE OF: A Grape.
This week, I woke up in agony. I had kidney pain and was rolling around the bed at 4am. I went to a&e and was seen really quickly and was looked after so well. I was kept as an inpatient for one night and was given strong, safe in pregnancy, pain killers and went a little cuckoo. My bloods came back normal, kidney function was fine, everything to do with the pregnancy was fine. They scanned me on the wednesday morning and my kidney was  fine too, had some cysts back, but that's normal with my kidney disease. They checked baby too, but only briefly as it's not a normal maternity hospital and wasn't meant to be checked, but baby had a heartbeat and was 3cm long. Was so happy and wasn't expected. So that was this weeks drama. 

THIS WEEK: week 10

BABY IS THE SIZE OF: A date.
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO: My scan in a few weeks.
MY FAVOURITE MOMENT WAS: My midwife appointment. 
I HAVE BEEN FEELING: Sick, sore and exhausted.
I HAVE BEEN BUYING FOR BABY: Nothing still.
IM CRAVING: Ice lollies, slush puppies and crisps.
IM LOVING: Ice lollies.
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO: film more and film the announcement.

THIS WEEK: week 11

BABY IS THE SIZE OF: Fig
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO: my scan in 2 weeks
MY FAVOURITE MOMENT WAS: Seeing my little bump grow
I HAVE BEEN FEELING: Sick sick sick! and so tired.
I HAVE BEEN BUYING FOR BABY: nothing!
IM CRAVING: crisps
IM LOVING: crisps
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO: blog oh my lord i need to blog.

THIS WEEK: week 12

BABY IS THE SIZE OF: Lime
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO: my scan next week
MY FAVOURITE MOMENT WAS: rubbing my actual little bump
I HAVE BEEN FEELING: sick, tired and excited, but really scared.
I HAVE BEEN BUYING FOR BABY: Nout
IM CRAVING: crisps
IM LOVING: crisps
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO: Vlog and blog i suck majorly.

THIS WEEK: week 13

BABY IS THE SIZE OF: Lemon
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO: My scan! it was amazing was 3 days further gone than we thought.
MY FAVOURITE MOMENT WAS: seeing my little bean on the screen, being a little pickle
I HAVE BEEN FEELING: sick, tired but amazingly happy
I HAVE BEEN BUYING FOR BABY: nothing still
IM CRAVING: Announcing it to the world.
IM LOVING: It being out in the open!
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO: bloody vlog and blog. I apologise.

So here I am 15 weeks pregnant, and still haven't posted this. Whoops, thank you all for baring with me over our hiatus. The honest face of parenting is genuinely EXHAUSTION. I've been nothing but sick for the past 11 weeks and I don't mind because I've got a baby in my tummy. I have posted an insta snap of my bump at 15 weeks below as I suck and haven't taken any before 13 weeks. Pregnancy with a toddler is rubbish but a blessing. This pregnancy has also knocked me for 6! Thank you for your patience with me!