Dear little Lucas,

This year you are four, four whole years! How has it gone so fast? I just don't understand. In June you'll be four years old, it will be four years since I held you in my arms for the first time, smelt your little head, looked into your eyes for the first time and vowed to love and protect you from then on, although I had already been doing that from the moment I saw the words "Pregnant" on that test.

Since I last wrote you a letter we've been to Disneyland Paris and seen your fourth Christmas and this year it was so special. You wrote your letter to Father Christmas and asked him for what you wanted. You knew exactly what you were doing the night before Christmas too. You left the mince pie, milk and a carrot out - You even sprinkled the "porridge" reindeer food outside too. The cutest thing was when you decided the carrot should be outside too.
You were so good on Christmas morning, new years eve and I just loved seeing you over the festive period. I mean, you weren't always good but you're 3 and a half and if you were good all the time i'd be concerned anyway.

You're back to Forest School on Tuesday and I cannot wait to hear all about your day and to see what you get up to. You are such a lovely little boy and I know you adore listening to your stories and seeing your photos at the end of the day. I think the scariest thing is that I have applied for your infant School and you'll be starting in September. You'll be wearing a school uniform, carrying a book bag, learning to read, to count, to write your own name and i'll be watching on in awe and silently sobbing when you can't see me - I am not ready for my little boy to be grown up. Forever my baby, my first born, my son.

This year you will be four, you will be doing so many new things this year, marking more milestones and it's the most bittersweet feeling in the world. I am proud of you Lucas Oliver and you're a wonder. 

I love you,