Looks can be deceiving, as can Facebook and Instagram posts. We're all guilty of posting the lovely moments, the happy moments, the nice days out and the beautiful happy pictures; but parenting isn't always like that, it's not always a walk in the park and one thing I always said when I started this blog was that i'd always be honest and share the down days and moments as well as the up days and moments.
When Lucas turned 2, he had two weeks of utter hell. He did nothing but hit, kick, scream, ect... It was beyond manageable and I ended up seeking advice from a wise, ol' (young), source... my mother. We decided which route to take and how to deal with his behaviour. We tried the ignoring technique and it works. We still get the hitting and screaming ect... but it's usually over with really quickly as he's not getting a reaction.
Until the past week. Saturday morning we had screaming, tantrums, hitting, you name it. It was stressful and embarrassing to say the least. It then continued on throughout the day. He hated the dreaded "N" word and we had some outbursts. I find these really hard work, and I feel like everyone is watching me and judging the way we're handling it.
It's hard when you're a parent as you have the "perfect parent club", the "old fashioned mum's", the "i'd do it this way mum's" and the "never had kids club". One thing i've learnt since being a mum is I parent differently to how I thought I would, and most of all that everyone parents different and not to judge anyone.
Monday Lucas was poorly in the morning and vomited but perked up at lunch time, but was amazing behaviour wise. Yesterday he was terrible again. Hitting and kicking me on the bus, not letting me hold my arm over him as the bus kept jerking and he kept going forward, throwing his drink and yelling "MINE" and "MORK" and just in general being awful on the bus, it was so embarrassing. I decided enough was enough and went to put him back in the pram so he couldn't hit or kick me and would be safe from the bus jerking; He flung himself around and knocked into the bar on the bus, he then screamed at me for 20 minutes, until finally I got stern and raised my voice.
I had ignored it for so long, occasionally calmly telling him calm down and screaming and hitting me wouldn't get his drink back and he'd have to ask nicely and say "please" or "thank you" none of this was working, the people on the bus were watching me and i'm sure silently judging but I didn't know how else to handle it really. In the end a stern, slightly raised voice telling him, that we'd get off the bus and walk the rest of the way, and explaining that I don't kick, hit or scream at him and it's not nice to do it to me and if he wanted his drink, that he threw, he'd have to say please or thank you as screaming and hitting doesn't get what you want. We finally ended the tantrum.
We then had a cuddle and he said sorry and gave me a kiss, and we made up and I let him walk from the bus stop to the house. He then was fine until dinner time, but that was easier to manage.
I only really feel comfortable with him behaving like that in front of certain people. My mum is the main one, she just get's it. She helps, she guides, she listens and she's follows my lead and helps curb it.
I hate feeling like you're being judged and watched, especially as a rather pregnant woman, people assume you're child is the devil and you can't parent, but actually he's usually amazing and we get on so well and we parent the way that works for us.
Life's not always as smiley and yellow as these photos, they don't tell the story of 30 minutes before I was nearly crying on the bus and Lucas was screaming "MINE, MY MORK" at me constantly whilst booting me in the shins.
So hey mama (or papa) you're doing great... Kids can be, um, asses at times, but it's not you, it's them.
I have to remember that he's just letting out frustrations and that he's learning he has emotions and it's got to be quite scary, it's scary when because of my hormones I can't control my emotions.
Tomorrow is another day,
Thanks for reading, from one struggling parent of a toddler, to possibly another, I salute you.
